Chicago Gamer 001

Man my head feels groggy after that all day playathon. It's made worse that I have been doing this consistently for the past couple days. Now my whole body is in quack. Go to sleep at three, wake up at one. Not good, not good at all.

But this is the heroic task I must endure to reach my goal. Seeing that I'm home and living in an abundance of free time I had to do something. That something is video games. I don't have a PS2 or a Xbox 360. So I must spend this time wisely and beat a lot of games I might have missed out on. This being Viva Pinata, Okami, and Final Fantasy XII.

But there are a fair share of roadblocks for sure. Take for example this morning. I woke up, yawned, scratched my chest, and proceeding to go downstairs to make myself some yummy waffles. Vrooooom!!! Oh shit my mom is vacuuming!!

Lesson number one of the Lazar family household. When you hear cleaning products being used; run and run real fast. If you so happen to get caught in the web of Windex and towel paper you might as well pitch a tent because you are going to be there for a good while. I always tell my friends to gallop out and do not look back. All they heard were the screams of torture.

Knowing this all to well I jump back into bed to pretend like I am sleeping. Mom falls for it and proceeds to go on by. Now just a quick Solid Snake move down the stairs, grab the waffles, and into the shadows of the basement. Hah no one saw me, haha!! No one can beat the master of stealth.

"Hi Matt"

Shit my little sister is down here. I know what she wants, she wants to play on the DS. This would be fine, but last time I gave it to her she lost it, lied about it, and took me days to find the damn thing again.

"Can I play the racing game?"

Say no Matt, say no.

"Umm sure."

You idiot. Why do I always have to be the nice guy? One day I would love to be an asshole. Just be mortal enemies with someone. Like if I saw him on the street we would immediately have Samus Aran vs. Ridley moment. Two warriors, one result, some one getting their ass kicked. . .

That sounded lame, but hey welcome to Matt Lazar's brain. The problem is that I'm just too damn nice. Maybe I should steal baby animals and hold them in prison like Dr. Robotnick. That's bound to piss of someone. Nah I will just be the same vanilla nice me.

So I hand her the DS praying to the high lord above I get it back. My main concern is with Viva Pinata though. This damn little game has taken my hours. It is funny because I don't want to play it, but I feel like I have to. Let me explain. The game never stops. There is always something popping up: watering the trees, stopping pinata wars, buying houses, or trying to mate the damn things. I find myself with no break to leave. I must keep going.

It's a hard thing to explain, but it also helps that the pinatas themselves are irresistible. Squazziles, Sherbets, and Hortaschios are the tightest bunch on the planet. Oh god, I must avoid this talk. I'm worried that I might be in a conversation with a girl and say, "Yeah I don't like when friends fight, like once my friend Pluckers, a Quackberry, got into a fight with a Badgesicle called Salsa. I had to wack Salsa in the head and put them in their corners." *Girl walks slowly at first before running like an Olympic athlete*

If only they saw the game though. Man if girls knew I played this game they would think I'm sensitive and cute and probably gay, but hopefully just sensitive and cute.

Fuck it, I got some Raisants to sell, Sour Crawls to battle, and chocolate coins to get.

Chicago Gamer Entry 001 COMPLETE